Who am I today?

1.04.2013

I think... my sense of self is being lost in mommy hood. There is no real distinction left between "me" as Jamie and "me" as Eva's mom. I am content with that in this moment but not in the long term. That will probably be a sense of discomfort for me later this year after the baby is born but I'm at peace with my role for now.
{I did get my hair done tonight though. Holla!}

I like... being sore from the gym. I've been working hard this week and my muscles are whining. It hurts so good.

I feel... uncomfortable in my skin. My body is big and bloated. My clothes don't fit. I can't put my own socks on without wincing in pain. This body isn't mine.
{yesterday at the gym. 25.5 weeks}

I want... a pair of maternity skinny jeans. The high for the day is in the mid thirties. I want to wear boots everyday but all of my jeans are boot cut and look weird in boots.

I am... so lucky. Life is hard and sometimes tragic. I have a loved one who is heartbroken right now over the recent loss of her baby. I KNOW that I am lucky. My marriage is strong, my kids are healthy, and things are calm. Life is hard for so many people so much of the time. Life has been hard on me for the past few years. I've been through enough to know that I am LUCKY when things are calm.

Who are you today?

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37 comments:

  1. Oh, I love your hair! It looks fabulous! Moving on, I think every mom struggles with the fine line between being someone's mom and her own person. We all are more than one thing but we label ourselves for one reason or another. I know I've felt the same discomfort when I was coming to terms with being a stay at home mom.

    I can't believe your 25.5 weeks and you're at the gym! I no longer have any excuse as to why I can't get my butt back in shape. *Hangs head in shame*

    I'm sorry your friend lost her baby. I'll be praying for her and her family. From experience, I know how hard it is. This has definitely reminded me to be thankful for who I have in my life.

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  2. You have beautiful hair!! I can't wait for mine to grow out.

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  3. I love how honest you are about hating being pregnant! I hated it too and people always act like its butterflies and unicorns. Thanks for being honest.

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  4. you look great. I so respect people who work out when pregnant and stay all over in shape!

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  5. Love the gym picture lol!

    Who am I today? A large pregnant lady with a cold.

    I'm not happy about it lol

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  6. Your hair is amazing, I love it. :)

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  7. You look great, friend! And I love how you can be so honest in this post (about not feeling like this is your body right now) and also so aware of the blessings you have.

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  8. I feel you on the distinction in identity of being "me" and being "mommy". I always worry about that one.. glad I'm not alone! Love the hair too. :)

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  9. It's hard when the lines between you as you and you as a mom gets blurred.
    BUT...the best thing for me it to make sure I take some time for myself, often as I can.
    That keeps me sane :)

    The baby bump is rocking :) Hot stuff!!

    xoxo
    Lanaya
    www.raising-reagan.com

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  10. well your hair looks fantastic! but I could see that it is hard to be a mom and to be "you"

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  11. Great post! I'm not a mom yet, but I love reading about others' experiences so that I'll know what to expect.

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  12. Ah! I love your baby bump! I need to go get my hair done...I haven't been in forever!

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  13. I know you feel big & pregnant, but you look so adorable. I promise! And girl your hair looks FAB! Happy Friday!

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  14. I am new to being a stay at home mom, so I definitely feel you on the whole sense of self thing. I've slowly been working on finding myself again as I can't allow it to be a long term thing either.

    I love the gym picture, too cute!!!

    Thanks for stopping by my way and taking the time to comment, I'm definitely going to be looking into those magnetic latches for our cabinets!

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  15. You are looking so great! Love the baby bump! Your new hair looks fantastic too!

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  16. Your hair looks great and I love your gym clothes, keep it up!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  17. i looooooove being sore from the gym! no better feeling :)

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  18. Your hair looks so pretty!

    Ditto on the soreness, I love it! And this is proof that you can gym while being pregnant. My fiance has, in not so many words, forbidden me from gymming if we ever get pregnant, because what if I fall? *rolling my eyes*

    Sorry to hear of your friend's loss. That must be really tough

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  19. I'm glad that you realize you are lucky but still don't have to be thrilled all the time. When I am pregnant, I know I'll be just like you! It's important to see the good and the not-so-good. Makes you a realist!
    And I think it's AWESOME that you're still working out. What are you doing?

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  20. I really relate to number one. It's hard to love being a mom yet feel like you are losing yourself.
    Happy New Year, Jamie! I'm sure it will be a good one with a new baby on the way!

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  21. I think you still look beautiful. I can only hope to look half as good as you do once I am pregnant. I know it's hard to see yourself "blow up" but he's going to be a healthy baby and like you said you are lucky! So refreshing to hear someone say that about themselves these days.

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  22. I struggled with that same sense of self, and it took me a good year+ to find the balance, but I think I finally have...I hope you can too! And you look great :)

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  23. This is really a great post :). I can imagine that it can be hard and feel like your identity is hidden under being a mom.

    And although you say you are feeling bug, I think you look so good! And so does your hair!

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  24. I think we rediscover our identity many, many times over the course of our lives. At least, I think it's healthy to do so! It's not good for us to stay the same, especially with as much as life changes FOR us!

    You look fantastic and I love the hair! You have inspired me to go get a pedicure (I need to do a lil something for ME today :)

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  25. You are gorgeous-and I LOVE your new hairdo!

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  26. Today- I am content and trying to get stuff done around the house without wasting my day off ;) I am sorry for your friend. That is a loss that is hard to understand.

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  27. love this post lady! i am a little bored with my life today....need to shake it up some!

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  28. Such a great post. It really can be a struggle day to day and I will be the first to admit that sometimes I am over the top happy to be nothing more then Mommy, and other times, yea, I could use a day off! LOL

    PS You look gorgeous!

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  29. You look FABULOUS in that pic and your hair looks amazing! The new year and life is definitely treating you fabulously!!!!
    PS: I definitely know how you feel with the skinny jeans! I just bought a pair (just reg) because of the boot issue! :)
    Have a great week!

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  30. Look at you!! How awesome that you are going to the gym at 25 weeks!! You look amazing! I love your hair too! How beautiful!! I'm not a parent but I know that losing yourself to become a parent is a common thing I hear. I also enjoy how honest you are!!
    I'm sorry for your friend - my prayers are with her & her family. <3, Amy

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  31. You look beautiful and radiant sweet friend, don't forget that!

    <3 to your friend suffering such a sadloss :(

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  32. your hair looks fabulous. what kind of work outs are you doing while pregnant? have you posted recently on this? (ive been away from blogger since a few days before xmas and trying to catch up!)

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  33. I think sometimes it's necessary to take a step back from life to analyze who we really are and what our purpose is.

    P.S. Keeping your friend in my thoughts, what a hard thing to go through.

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  34. you look GREAT!! i admire you going to the gym! i hope the first weeks of this month are treating you well. <3
    xox
    maria

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  35. I love your hair! It looks great. YOU look great! Good luck on the skinny jeans front. Shoot, I'm not even pregnant and I have a hard time finding the perfect pair of jeans.

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  36. I don't care what you say you look gorgeous.

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I love to hear your thoughts! XOXO

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