Why can't she obsess over lip gloss AND be smart?
Have we moved so far towards feminism and womens lib that we aren't allowed to desire femininity? She can't be a strong, independent, smart, well-adjusted child and also think that lipstick, tutus, and purses are the shizz? She can't beg for sparkles in her hair every morning and also shoot her pellet gun in the back yard and ride her go-kart after she completes her school workbooks?
My desire, for my daughter, is not to teach her that she should ignore her innate inclination towards being girl-girly. My desire, for my daughter, is to teach her that she can do and be anybody that she wants to be.
I want her to love deeply and be loved even deeper. Whether she loves a man or a woman, I hope that she finds a partner who allows her to be the person that she wants to be. I hope she goes to school and finds the career that she wants- whether that means that she is a nuclear physicist or a Mommy, or both! If she wants to get a Masters degree and then stay at home to wipe baby butts, like I did, I hope she does that. If she wants to go to medical school and then adopt babies at 40, I hope she does that. I hope that she learns by example to keep her body healthy and strong and physically fit. Not because your'e just a sex object for a partner but because you feel better in your skin when your body is fit.
Why shouldn't I allow her to apply a bit of eye shadow and lip gloss in the morning mirror with me as her brother naps? Should I throw her in front of the TV instead and take advantage of this "me" time? Should I shame or punish her for wanting to spend this special time with me and her aspiration towards being "like Mommy"? Or should I allow her to put some make up on while we dance to Pandora and discuss the day's plans, like we do every day?
Obviously, I put my foot down about certain primping acts. I make sure she takes some make up off if she is too heavy handed, she doesn't wear tummy baring shirts or high heels outside of the house. I am not allowing her to pierce her ears until she is old enough to take care of them. I certainly don't pluck her eyebrows or allow her to shave her legs (despite her trying sneak my razor a time or two). It is not that I allow her to partake in every single act that I do in the bathroom; I just monitor and manage what I believe is her innate inclination towards copying me.
Why can't she love lip gloss and also be a well-adjusted child who grows up to be President of the United States (if she so desires)?